2009-01-07 Disequilibrium

I've been experiencing a very strange sensation. It's weird, and I couldn't describe it well in the past two days. Tonight, I finally came up with a phrase to describe this kind of bizarre sensation: A soul of sorrow confined to an exuberant body.

2009-01-06 Daily Photos

昨天下午才從法院書記官處得知，我必須在開調解庭之前遞送陳報狀，這意味著，我今天必須寫完並準備好附件資料。我其實是很會拖縮 (ㄊㄨㄚ ㄙㄨㄚ)的人，所以整個晚上都在逃避現實，喝咖啡、吃起司蛋糕、吃巧克力，然後到政大書城窩著，看些書，耍自閉，然後買幾本書，降低壓力。（我發現自己龜縮的模式大概就是這樣吧！看起來，頗無害，不過甜食吃太多些。）

今天起一大早，開始認份地寫陳述狀。我只要專心做事，可以很有效率地寫完陳述狀。重新看過陳述的內容，還頗滿意的。這些年來，經歷這麼多繁瑣的法律事務，準備資料，也算是得心應手。（真不知道該是高興，還是難過呢！）

準備好資料後，便出發前往台北地方法院的家事法庭。除拖縮一整晚，逃避現實外，另一件幫我調整心情的事情是：家事法庭離我家蠻近的，走路約10到15分鐘即可抵達。減少舟車勞頓的壓力，我可以較正向的態度來處理事情。

出門的時候，很幸運的是：雨停了！我的心情會因為下雨而變差，出門時，還看見一塊藍色的天空。啊！真高興！

另一件讓我高興的事是，看見一隻很醜，但是睡的很可愛的貓。在我走往家事法庭的路上，經過一家餐廳，我看到餐廳裡有隻醜醜的貓咪，睡的好可愛！餐廳還沒開始營業，但是貓咪醜的可愛，我禁不住地摸進餐廳裡，用手機照相機拍下貓咪可愛的樣子。貓咪睡得很熟，一臉幸福的樣子。

老闆娘走過來，看我在做啥。當她知道我喜歡貓咪的時候，她也就放任我拍貓咪照片。老闆娘告訴我，這隻貓原本是流浪貓，她撿到這隻貓，也就留下這隻貓。看貓咪睡的很熟、放鬆的樣子，真替牠感到高興，幸福的貓咪～

我心滿意足地帶著貓咪照片，繼續前往法院。離開餐廳後，我回頭看餐廳的招牌，心想著要再次到這家餐廳看貓咪。發現這家餐廳叫做「圓滿」餐廳。啊！正向情緒字呢！高興！高興！

果然，營造促發正向心情的環境，能激發正向心情；在正向心情狀態下，能營造促發正向心情的環境。這是一種互動的動態關係。

這種大家視為理所當然的事情，可是有研究文獻的喔！請參考：

Tamir, M., & Robinson, M. D. (2007). The happy spotlight: Positive mood and selective attention to rewarding information. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 33(8), 1124-1136.

總之，我已經盡人事，把資料送出去後，決定權就在法官手上。現在只能等待後續的通知或裁定。我應該繼續進行我另一個載逃避現實的事情，正在拖縮我的實驗設計。不能再拖了！XD 得趕快把剩下的部分寫完。

氣象預報又一台

幾年前的交通意外事故，讓我的右腳踝變成很準確氣象預報台，我個人評估準確率有達85％。這現象要部分歸咎於當年的固執和逞強，沒有適切的照料患部。現在，每當濕氣過重時，或者雨天來臨前，腳踝和小腿都是一陣隱隱的酸痛。

幾個月前，在三峽滿月園扭再次傷腳後，原本的酸痛變成刺痛。所以，氣象預測的警報變得更明顯易懂。

有這氣象預報台的唯一好處是，不會忘記帶雨傘。

前陣子，很愚蠢地在家滑倒，造成左手手肘受割傷。從外觀看來，傷口癒合的狀況良好。但是，昨天晚上，我的左手手肘發出一陣的刺痛，右腳腳踝則是一陣的酸痛，這樣的左右夾擊，讓我整晚不得安寧。

今天，下雨。

我想，現在我有兩台氣象預報台可參考，不用再看氣象新聞。

Sleeping Beauty

I finally turned in my last term paper yesterday, which means I could have a short break. I was pretty exhausted and went to bed aroud 9 p.m. last night. When I woke up today, I found it was already 1 p.m. in the afternoon. Gees! I slept for 16 hours!

Even though I had terribly long sleep, I still feel tired. And worst of all, I feel I am getting sick, having headache and sore throat. GAS theory is pretty right, after severe stress, human's immue system would get weak.

Damned! I still have to work on my HRD project and complete the system design before Chinese New Year. :(

Oops! 糟！

I have spent two weeks studying Family Resilience Framework and trying to apply it to interpret the narrative data I collected and to explain some phenomena I observed.

The worst thing is I found out the framewok isn't the best fit to my study two days before I have to present my results. It means I won't be able to sleep in the following two nights.

Damned....The two weeks before the end of semester are like a hell.

Narcissistic

I hadn't had my hair cut for few years, partly to save money and partly to avoid frustration resulted from bad hairstyle; so I had long hair for years. But last night I suddenly had an idea to cut my hair, and it lingered in my mind all night.

I fulfilled this idea this morning.

I am having a short hairstyle now which makes me look like a mushroom. I looked myself in the mirror and I couldn't recognize myself well. I look like a young and optimistic student with smile, and I am full of spirit and happiness.

I am soooo cute! Haha, it's kind of narcissistic, isn't it?

I realized long hairstyle never suits my temperaments and I am never the heavenly beautiful characters from Qiongyao's romantic stories. I have found my true face.

I like the idea proposed by Maslow. There is discrepancy between IDEAL and REAL SELF. I am feeling that I have been reducing the discrepancy between my ideal self and real self bit by bit. And I am also reducing the discrepancy of ideal family and real family if I expend its application on family study.

I am a believer of Confucian's viewpoint on human development.

"In my thirties, I find the stand." (三十而立)

I am in my early thirties, and I am finding my stand in the society, pursuing my lifetime hobbies and developing my career path.

I am finding my true nature and being the one I love to be.

Giant Halfway Folding Bike

After coming back to Taipei from Hualian, I've been thinking about buying a folding bike so that I can travel by bike and take it with me easily. I like to take time to know and to enjoy the beauty of a place so I feel like to revisit Hualian and to travel in Taidong by bike during Chinese New Year holidays or Spring holidays this year.

After doing some research online, my choice was narrowed down to Dahon or Giant. The price of Giant's Halfway module is half of Dahon's. I went to check Halfway bike out after hiking in Xiaoshitou Shan this afternoon. Halfway folding bike is really light but the wheel is really small. Mm...., I think I should also check Dahon's folding bike out to make sure what really meet my need.

Uh....I haven't finished writing my stories about traveling in Yilan and Hualian. But churning out term papers is the first piority now. It will take some time to complete the travel writing.

WELCOME TO YEAR 2008

I had been busy during the New Year Holidays, spending time with friends and my sister's family, which made me really happy.

I finally got HEROES's DVD and watched few episodes last night. When I watched it, my response was often yelling "WOW!" "H**ly S**t!" The show is fantastic! I want to finish the first season ASAP and want to let Eric watch it.

This afternoon, I went to Taipei City Zoo with Shipin's family. The weather was bone-chilling, but it was a fun trip. Her daughter is a little angel. We had great time with this little girl. And I love strolling in the zoo, too. It's wonderful to see those lovely animals and learn new things from the trip. My newly-bought cemera didn't work so I was unable to take photos of those amazing ceatures and Shipin's little angel. I have to vist eWhat tomorrow to figure out what happen to my camera.

Because of the cold weather, many animals in the zoo behaved in interesting ways. Monkeys squeezed each other and formed a huge fur ball on rocks. Pythons curled up and looked like huge droppings under the yellow light. A tiger was so close to us that only a thin piece of glass blocked it from us. I was attracted to elephants and beautiful birds. I love frogs, but it was funny that I just couldn't find any frogs when I was in the Amphibian and Reptile House. It was a kind of treature hunt for me to locate frogs. I was as happy as Shipin's little girl. I wish my nephew and my sister were with us. The zoo was great, it had been improved a lot since I visited it last time. I would like to make it my regular place for taking a long walk in the city.

We just finished watching The Simpons. The Simpon family always make me laugh.

Busy being happy for days, so great!

Happy New Year!

Posting Several Articles Today

I posted few articles today, which probably makes people think I have too much spare time even though I am a part-time graduate student and full-time employee. I only want to do something that makes me happy. I am stressed out actually because I have been working on several projects and I have been reading research references and I have to turn in reports and take exams in few weeks. I need to do something that helps me to release the stress.

今天張貼數篇文章，讓人覺得我這個研究生好像很閒。其實，我只是想做些讓自己快樂的事情，讓自己快樂。因為手邊有很多工作專案，有文獻要唸，有期末報告和考試要寫，其實壓力真的很大的喵～我正在思考報告和考試寫作的方向，做組織藍圖，希望開始動筆寫時，不會雜亂無章。

I wrote those articles and I will translate them into English or rewrite them in English when I have more free time .

暫時先把今天遊歷的經驗記載下來，等接下來有時間，再翻譯成英文吧！

I found that my school provides online English article editing service. I think I can take the advantage of the system and send what I write for this blog to them so I can improve my English. It's probably a good learning-process. And it also makes me happy becaue I like to learn English. :)

我發現學校提供英文作文線上修改的服務，我想，我可以藉這個機會，練習英文寫作，然後寄給學校英文作文中心，這也是一種學習啊！

Impractical Ideas

I want to go hiking with books: the Most Common Birds of Taiwan, the Most Common Plants of Taiwan, the Most Common Trees of Taiwan. I want to learn more about Taiwanese flora and fauna. But the idea is impractical because those books are too heavy and bulky to carry around.
Taking pictures is capturing images of the nature. Painting is capturing images from mind. I want to paint beautiful landscape and woods when I go hiking. I know painting gears are heavy, too. It's another impractical idea of mine.

Olympus SP-550UZ

After I did some research online, browsed several forums and considered my budget and various functions of digital cameras, I decided to buy an Olympus SP-550UZ.

I went to eWhat (The most famous bootlegged-camera store in Taiwan) to pick up the camera with my classmate, YiZhong, after the class of Family Psychology last night.

We were at eWhat and a serviceperson showed us the camera, and we could test functions the camera before we made the deal. YiZhong taught me its functions and how to operate it to take test shots. I took several pictures in different modes and people could easily tell that I was an inexperienced buyer because I awkwardly operated it. The serviceperson knew well that he didn't need to persuade me to buy it because my happy face was saying: "I want to buy it! I want to buy it!"

After buying the digital camera, YiZhong gave me basic lessons of photography. I went home happily with my brand-new digital camera. I decided to take more test shots to learn more of its functions. I thought I would go hiking in XiaoShiTou Shan next day.

The abovementioned experience is what happened to me last night.

I came back from XiaoShiTou Shan and just got in my office. I will upload my test shots to my Flickr and post the comparisons of photos taken by my old Nikon E2500 and new Olympus SP-550UZ. I will post introduce of my backyard garden: XiaoShiTou Shan. : )

P.S. Oops! My right ankle is aching; the old injure is really troublesome.

在事前做些功課，瀏覽各大討論區，考量預算和功能後，決定要買Olympus SP-550UZ這款數位相機，和學弟一中約好在昨天晚上上完家庭心理學後，到億華（全台知名攝影器材水貨商）買這款機型。

昨晚在測試主機時，一中向我說明相機的操作和試拍方法，我試拍不同功能設定下的照片品質，很不靈活地按著各種功能鍵，蠻笨拙地！讓人一眼就看出來我是個新手。而且我那高興的樣子，讓銷售員一眼就看出他不用花費太多力氣說服我買下產品，我的臉上很清楚地寫著：「我要買！我要買！」

買下這款項機，在一中的介紹和說明後，高興地帶著它回家，並且決定要拍些測試照片，所以隔天來走小獅頭山。

這是昨天晚上發生的事。

現在，我剛剛從小獅頭山回來，進了辦公室。晚些回家之後，我再把測試照片上傳到我的Flickr和這個部落格，可以比較一下我先前的Nikon E2500和這款Olympus SP-550UZ有何不同，並且可以再次介紹我的後花園：小獅頭山。

備註：糟糕！右腳腳踝有些隱隱作痛，舊傷果然是很惱人的！

2008 New Year Resolution/2008 新年新希望

2008 New Year Resolution

I browsed other Taiwanese blogs and figured out that there are three national hiking trails in Wulai. They are TongHou Hiking Trail, BaFu Hiking Trail and HaPen Hiking Trail.

I hope I can complete hiking those three beautiful trails in 2008.

桶后越嶺 TongHou Hiking Trail
http://www.wretch.cc/blog/moukli&article_id=15910989

巴福越嶺 BaFu Hiking Trail
http://blog.xuite.net/josefcn/yamaasobu/13892568

哈盆越嶺 HaPen Hiking Trail
http://homepage.ntu.edu.tw/~d92445001/mount/new_page_6.htm

WHY, WHAT AND HOW

Since 1998, posting the first article online, I had started contemplating on my thoughts and emotional experiences and reflecting on the meanings of my existence via writing and posting articles and discussion with people online. I stopped writing and discussion with friends online in 2005. I don't know whether it is the result of reaching a status of burnout or feeling self-fulfillment.

For two months, I have been reviewing huge amount of articles that I had written in the past 7 years, I found new meanings of writing.

This blog will record my reexamination of my past experiences, the traces of the flow of thoughts and my current life-experiences about film-seeing, hiking, reading and psychology study.

1998年，在網路上張貼第一篇文章後，我透過文章的撰寫和與他人的網路對話，省思自我的思維、情感經驗和存在意義。2005年我不再討論，不再撰寫文章。我不知道是因為進入到某一種能量耗竭抑或是豐沛的狀態 。

現在，開始整理過去七年內所累積的大量文字資料，我發現從新開始撰寫與記錄的意義。

這格部落格將記錄我對過去經驗的再檢視，思維流動的痕跡與當下生活的紀錄，以及我觀影、閱讀、郊山和心理學研究的心得。